I have a way to do this from the phone and this may save this blog. Not that anyone cares but me, but I guess I do.

Still, being able to fit this (and everywhere I write) into my pocket is huge. I've wanted this a long time. This place is still my priest and I still want to confess and to be better as a confessor/writer...

School and kid are my time, now. But I hope the new portability can ressurect. Time. Time. Time.

In light of my absence

A new series: Dancing I like.

Study Break

I've written nothing at all for human consumption at this point. At least not for a long while, although I thought I should stop and sharpen the pencil on a brief study break.

What I'm doing? Well...I started school again. I recorded something and I'm trying to get another release together. I have an Evil Plan for April that I'm equal parts excited and afraid of. The school thing is big. I'm not terribly diligent as a student, ironic as I want to be a teacher. Nevertheless I need to hang on and do what I have to for a while so I can teach. I still teach, rehearse, book, write and perform while most days I'm home with Maddie trying to do those things.

So for now, I'm writing a lot of notes, so I might just be making comments on pencils. Intimates of mine know that I'm a bit of a pencil-phile. I am writing (physically) a lot. I have long read some of the great pencil blogs (Pencil Revolution, Brand Name Pencils, Pencil Talk and Woodclinched among others) and I do not intend to be one, but you write what you know.

I guess there's usually writing or thinking going on with me, but for now I have to focus on a ton of stuff, so the occasional post will be here and not at the Stone Orchard. This one's for me, I don't expect any one to find it and I can be as boring as I want.

I know there's a handful of people who are still with this from years ago when I got traffic...Hi...but for now, enjoy my telling you about the Kuru-toga. The best damn mechanical pencil I've ever used.

At home I tend to sharpen up a few Dixon Tri-Conderogas, but in a class room I need a mechanical. I break a lot of leads and I'm just never in touch with a mechanical out side of my Cross 9mm. I also carry a Zebra 5mm most days, but I have no love of 5mm...until now. The Uniball Mitsubishi Kuru-Toga has a small engine that spins the lead a fraction every time you lift it so the point is always sharp. I need 5mm for writing charts, but I break leads a ton. The supplied leads have some sort of industrial diamond impregnated. In short, the thing is sick. Really sick.

Back to tele-course videos.

Review

Today I will be reviewing Kraft Singles Fat Free Sharp Cheddar Cheese Artificially Flavored Non-fat Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product. This is the packaging:

Not bad as far as packaging, it looks congruent with their brand, especially the Krafft Singles Empire. 

this comes in handy because these taste exactly like Kraft Singles. It seems they added extra orange dye, however. This does not impacts the taste. 

End of review. 

Katherine Hepburn is Dead.

Note: I brought this in from an abandoned blog. I need some space and this really should have been here in the first place. 

And Barbara Stanwyck and Jane Wyman and Greta Garbo and Bette Davis and Ingrid Bergman. And for that matter any woman I would want a young lady to have as a role model. I guess Angelina Jolie has merits, she has been outspoken and defensive of her stupid choices. She's seemingly kind and charitable and seems to have the will and resources to have a litter of third world babies. My problem there is that since she became the commodity that she did the roles where she gets to be strong and interesting and sometimes wrongfully so have dried up.

I watched Mr and Mrs Smith. That sucked. I don't know if most of the world knows that sucked anymore than they know Justin Timberlake sucks, but all these things are true. This gets me into the subtext of the post. Quality and this thing in my head about Applied art, Fine art and the arts and crafts movement. Maybe we'll get there, maybe not, but find one category that li'l JT fits and we'll talk a little more-and I mean a defensible position, not an eyes-shut-subjective-or-guilty-pleasure offense. Believe me, that is offensive and I hope not just to me.

That later. Maybe. Maybe Tomorrow. Christ, I have to assume that a large percentage of the people finding this are rock stupid as a large percentage of the world is-ok, rock stupid is childish-but, let's say thoughtless. I still want to dumb this down because I want people to like me and I want to be popular. If you've gotten this far I'll assume you can carry a thought in an envelope or I piss you off.

The parts she doesn't do anymore and hasn't since "Girl, Interrupted" and (I'm puking in my mouth a little bit) "Foxfire" are the flawed and confident. The things I admire in Kate and Greta. The things I would want a daughter, if I had a daughter, to see.

I think in some ways we have seriously shafted ourselves by allowing the puritanism of those jolly good ol' days die. I'm not advocating censorship, I never will, I'm encouraging some candor and self policing. Since the gates were opened we've lost naughty. It's straight to dirty and all the movies have lost the winks that used to let us know that, while we were watching with our kids, that part was for the grown ups.

Not that I remember. I'm fucking 33. Nevertheless, there's the inclusive feeling of an in joke that we've sacrificed for our freedom to say anything. We fail to notice so often that our boundaries are usually what makes art, well, art. Our limitations and what we're able to do with them are what makes us great.

With an unlimited budget and resources, we don't rely on our creativity. "Titanic" is what results. Some of our greatness goes away. Our difficulties in life are rarely in our hardships, they're so often in the luxuries. I had a talk late last year with Matt about the shitty people we would have become if we had had any success. I am an absolutely wonderful failure.

The other thing that dies with the budget restrictions and the ability to ask the question "should we do this simply because we ca?" is the roles. It's become dumb and, worse yet, tepid.

I want a strong, confident and flawed woman. Not out to prove that a woman could be an action hero, because, really, who gives a shit? I want movies about people I know doing things that I do well. I want her to be flawed both physically and emotionally. I want her to be like the people I know and I want her to be comfortable with that. A human being trying to compensate or in the throes of ridiculous circumstance is not a role model. A leader does what we do every day, but better than we do.

Goodnight, Kate. I really miss you.

Whew. What an evening. There's all kinds of shit I just don't feel like looking at this evening. I'm pretty busted up because one of my favorite dog ran away - no not one of my girls - Hector. And that sucks.There's that thing in AZ that just fucks us up. 


I said it on Facebook:


"Another rare political thing I always regret saying: If you truly believe that all the finger pointing and polarizing of American politics contributed to the shooting in Az, maybe now is not the time to point fingers and blame. A sick man shot some people. Grieve. Mourn. Do not make this a political thing - That's not helping, either." 


and I said in response to a debate about using the word Scum to refer to Jared Laughner:


"Kevin Trudo 

Most of the reason I shy away from the political is the debate that follows. I know it's easy to get carried away with our feelings about this. I am reading a few people who are splitting apart on a semantic issue...some people I know and respect and I hope I can just jump in and say that I don't think anyone is attempting to be adversarial. I'm also struggling with some not so small anger towards this killer, and I'm not comfortable relieving all blame through mental illness - perhaps wrongly - but the thing is this is stressful. This is wrong and this damages a lot. 

I hate when these things are taken away from us, the security that we can go out and say things or disagree or publicly assemble without a little girl getting killed. It's an innocence and losing it hurts. I hear you Jerry, I do. I know what you mean, my wife and my friend dislike your language, but I hear in it the frustration and the anger that comes when we have to lose this stuff. I'm not sure how accountable we can hold this guy, but dammit I want someone to be accountable.

I also hear the other side. I ask you guys to understand the language of outrage and not apply it to your lives. Everything is different in our backyard. Let's not forget that there's a Laughner Family. Jerry, thanks for sharing your rage. I'm not gonna kick your ass for it. I'm not gonna go with "scum", but I think I understand the feelings that cause you to use that. Katie, thanks for sharing...that's brave and I never knew the whole story. You're a helluva person. I hope to earn the kinda strength you have one day, and I sure hope there's a better route to it, I'm not confident I could do what you did.

If we all can throw out the words and the blame...it's just more shit that's not helping. I don't know enough. I don't know if this guy's family failed him. I don't know if we just had a sociopath. I don't blame the gun, though. I don't blame Palin, just like I'm pretty sure Judas Priest didn't want some kids to try to kill them selves. I don't agree with "scum", but I don't know. I sure don't want to worry about it and I sure don't feel warm towards him. I watched his you tube videos last night and there was some stuff not firing. I don't know if we can help or if this guy can come back. I just know that it was bad. I also know that all this rhetoric is what's worrying me. All the strong language that made up an environment where this could happen bothers me.

Jared Loughner is likely in need of medication, but there's also the possibility that he's not, that he's just evil. I dunno. Sounds Schizophrenic to me. Whatever happens, name calling, in part, got us here. I will say it agin, it's not helping."

I don't wanna believe we're terrible. 

But I do.

The last link is scary, and this is all regurgitated material, but it's pretty big in my head just now. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I may have to turn this whole blog into my story with Bank of America if that shit doesn't get resolved soon. We'll see. Back to facebook, gotta deal with the hand grenade I threw in the mix. I'm suggesting you go here for the shit cheering me up today and man I needed some. 



I'm jumping back on here to make final mention that I'm bummed about the Tevatron. I know, there's a better horse in town...but this was in our backyard. There's some bleak local news of late, this is just a part of it. I hope this doesn't destroy the jobs and lives of a few friends of mine. That there Tevatron was one badass thingy. 

NY Resolutions.

I stated it simply like this:

Buy less. Make more. Love better. Learn a lot, but focus on what I already have.


I expound it like this:


I am going to make 4 albums this year. Maybe a fifth, but definitely these four. Winter; Spring; Summer; Fall. 


I am going to make some money making music this year. 


I'm gonna love better, starting with my wife. I'm not gonna worry about money because I can do. There's things I have that I'm not using well enough to justify buying more. I'm-a-gonna be calm. I'm not going to miss an opportunity to build a relationship. 


I'm gonna love you. 


I will learn. I will write and I will show you what's up. 


Love and kisses. 

I think things are gonna get weird.

I've been busy. I like busy. I need to get some stuff booked, but stuff is coming in. No worries, yet. Mostly I've been making things which is the thing that makes me work. I mean, the thing that is the reason why I'm at all coherent.

And I'm not very. Either way, I've decided what is what and I've simplified a few things in my head. I'll tell you - because you are something less than legion. I've killed a few of the places I post. I have kept one secret for myself and maybe one to speak the unspeakable, but other that that it's just here and The Stone Orchard. Well, and the blog on the main site, but that's work, kinda.

Here is me. I'm going to do my writing and my thinking here and the other place is to cheer me up and to catalog the fascinating. I'm comfortable with this. It only took 4 months of thinking to decide. I need to stop posting about posting, however.

I have made up my mind to make 2011 all about taking chances. I have one friend dedicating the year to candor...sure I'll work on that...but 2011 is going to be all about nudity for me. The stuff I talk about and don't do much.

Well..I have. and I will again. Until then, here is my favorite month of writing on this here blog I ever did: April of 2007.

Hope to see you soon.

Ignorance.

I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest, 'If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?' 'No,' said the priest, 'not if you did not know.' 'Then why,' asked the Eskimo earnestly, 'did you tell me?'
- Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, 1974

Note after the fact:

I really get nervous when I say what I'm actually thinking. I'm imprecise and I get taken wrong a lot. Also, I suspect I might have a horrible way of looking at the world.

either way - hear this - I'm not one to comment on other blogs or any of that. I don't do SEO anymore and I';m not looking for a subscriber base. I look to make meaningful contact. this means if I ignore you, I probably don't want to know you. Also, I have great friends and don't need any. Also, you wont change my mind.

Kisses!