22.10.05

Afterward (but monochrome)

I don' know if anyone cares anymore, but you can link here if you want. I'm gonna try to get back to this. I have missed all this narcissism and carpel tunnel. Let's be frank, I've missed the attention. I'm gonna try again and I'm changing the setting to un-private and I remember a friend I had in high school repeating to me over and over back in those days when I was shyer and much, much more afraid that "one cannot test courage cautiously." Tell a friend.

My days are moving over me so quickly I feel like some incidental part of a story. Some wandering subplot. I wonder if looking back will amplify this as it has so many other things. We just never know the fucking good days until they're the fucking good 'ol days, do we?

I'm choosing not to give out the day to day stuff right now. I'm a bit obsessed with the relationships I suck so much at maintaining. And that's so much of it: unrewarded maintenance. But that work is never appreciated unless it's undone. Let me tell you, I've had too many Falls without a harvest and I'm not gonna let it happen this time. I wish I had a little more to say and to share, but I know I need to call everyone in my phone book with I love you's and little cups of coffee. I need to get to that address book and let out all this inside stuff. I'm still heavy with all the air y'all left when I asked for your posts. Try again.

1 comment:

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

'You don't know what you've got till it's gone.' (Mitchell, J)

I will be glad to re-link you next time I update my blogroll.