Keep Pat Robertson out of Allentown. (shit, keep him out of Aurora)

It takes an exceptional and egregious expedition into assery to make me wade waters with the dread undertow of politics and the religious shitheads, er, right. I have yet to say it here, but it beats like the persistent tattoo of the clave in my head. Mother fuck ol' Pat. Part of me wishes for the guy to get some particularly embarrassing STD so I can type here that he shouldn't be surprised, after all he's been a prick for so long in god's name.

I wish to bestow upon you some links and quotes that scare the hair off my knuckles. I'm not a religious man in any sense of the term, but when I pray, I pray not in requests and revered tones but in very colloquial and familiar terms. Tonight my prayer will be; "hey there, god, sorry about all the shitheads.

The gallery:

First, a wonderful link as introduction to his wisdom (with annotation I can't even touch),

"My personal feeling is that oral sex is against nature."

If there's one person a blow job could do some good for......

(about Gay Day at Disney World) "I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you. This is not a message of hate; this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs, it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor."

A meteor???

"The key in terms of mental ability is chess. There's never been a woman Grand Master chess player. Once you get one, then I'll buy some of the feminism."

There's actually quite a few. Time to recant, Pat?

(about homosexuals) "It's one thing to say, "We have rights to jobs, we have rights to be left alone in out little corner of the world to do our thing." It's an entirely different thing to say, well, "We're not only going to go into the schools and we're going to take your children and your grandchildren and turn them into homosexuals." Now that's wrong."

Geez, he's pretty hard on the queers, aint he? Is this because they give head?

"If the widespread practice of homosexuality will bring about the destruction of your nation, if it will bring about terrorist bombs, if it'll bring about earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor, it isn't necessarily something we ought to open our arms to."

Again with the meteors, am I the only one who remember the Hale-Bopp cult thing? But I am endlessly fascinated with people who site themselves as structural support beneath such dazzling Aristotelian thinking.

I'm not going to go on. The man may well be retarded and if you're dumb enough to follow him (our current president considers him a spiritual advisor) I will not be responsible for where you end up.

And that concludes and summarily proves my thesis: Fuck Pat Robertson.

Sorry if I offended any retarded people.

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