17.8.06

At Least a Little While

You were talkin’ like you were all coked up but maybe I remember wrong and it was me who bumped a bit and talked too much
But either way a lotta words were passed and I know that I read too deep in looks and words and any accidental touch
So now it all comes out with seven years of memory stacked up on all the ways you don't like me and I can't stop the smile
'Cause no matter what you felt for me or feel for me I loved you with everything I knew a little while a little while a little while

At least a little while.



We had it all but we were young and dumb and couldn’t see how everything we had could be everything we’d need
And you’ve made it clear just how you felt but that doesn’t answer why you let yourself be so generous with your body
Now after months have turned to years and our insecurities have turned to bricks and our lacking turned to overworking and denial
It won’t matter how much time has passed or who we love or how we love or what we love our stories met a little while a little while a little while

And I don’t want to look back at all the ugly, awful things we were
But for you I will remember


Maybe I was just too lazy or just too drunk or smug or stupid to say the things I must have known even then were very important to say
But I remember way back in the beginning when it was just me and you and it was all we could do to keep our hands off each other but now it’s all you can do to stay away
So even if this doesn’t matter it means a lot to me and I wish you could talk to me without all our history whispering and bleeding through
Because all that we remember is how it ended and all the shitty things we did and said that have so little to do with me or you

And I know you’re right and I don’t know you anymore but I know enough to know almost precisely what that look means
But I don’t wanna fix us, I only wanna fix me but there’s kind things that I didn’t say and I think I owe you that at least
So take with you that for a long time, man, my heart would beat but only just enough to remind me that I was alive
And if that confession isn’t enough then keep in mind that the only blood that flushed my face was you at least a little while a little while a little while

At least a little while

And I don’t want to stare directly at that burning (shiny) thing we were
But for you I will remember

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