31.5.07

it just is (or at least seems like that with my eyes open and my heart shut, the Replacements cranked and no particular place to go.)

Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.
-Stephen King

It's true and I struggle to remain everyone's enemy. Sometimes love demands that.

I googled Charlee today. Found a picture left over from her school years ago. I heard last she was engaged and that didn't carry any of the sting I would expect. I guess I took that as the final fall of the connection. I guess I figure I'm over that, but on a deeper level all pains resemble each other and it's a simple surgery to reconnect with any out of touch rejection. Like Arthur Prysock said, "Here's to old friends, tonight is kinda special."

Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.
-Stephen King

I repeat as it is the current central theme of life and some manifest I'm currently composing that I will remain the adversary as far as never lying to anyone even to save some feelings or keep something unpleasant away. There is a deeper wave than this and I just want a situation where I never have to say anything; from "I love you" to "I want you" to "that would be OK" when it's just fucking not.

I want to be able to but not have to.

Dig?

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