7.8.07

Bullshit fuduciary post. (It's all I got to night)

I promised words. Not surprisingly at the far end of the day I'm here with only my promise.

I don't really have anything to say about anything. I just keep thinking about bravery and how to keep this damn thing open. It's not natural to me to be open. Hell, or happy for that matter, but this big house and these quiet times and the good friends and good company are definitely agreeing with me.

I'm very scared of this world and I'm very scared of me. I'm very thirsty and I'm very much inclined to do whatever it takes to have the life I want.

Talking about stories, I heard some bad ones today. The hard parts in real estate these days are the stories. I imagine there's a lot of folks hit south of the waist by a housing divot and how hard it is to get money these days. It's always been hard for me to get money, I ruined my credit a long time ago. I'm fixing that. I'm doing a lot to get that on track. I don't have much for savings, but I'll get that. My debt is manageable and while paying the bills freaks me out, I'm not borrowing to do it.

Not everyone is so fortunate. Most of the time it's a client and they're turned around but I talked to an agent today and got a stark snapshot of how scary it can be on that side. I'm doing ok. I'm not managing debt. I'm not in the hole. Months are lean, but I'm not digging deeper.

Till I die I'll remember Matt saying to me once when I couldn't get a beer-"get one, we got it-we're blessed". That changed my life.

  • I'm blessed.
  • I want to be more so, just for the things I can do and the beers I can buy.
It's coming.

I'm in.

I'm scared, but I'm improving.

I'm in.

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