29.3.08

Website as North Star.

I did it. I sold out. I got an offer to put ads on this page and I took it. Now I have to get folks to look at them. If you see anything interesting over to the right there go visit. It helps. Me.

I'm kinda proud that I've got enough traffic to be able to sell out.

That's just the start of the week. Well, the week starts tomorrow, but it should be a groovy one. Heading to DC on Wednesday or Thursday, recording again, finally, and updated The Kevin Trudo dot Com for April. Got some plans for the week and the month. I'm easy as a Sunday morning. I'm thinking of giving this place a make-over. It is the three year birthday of this. I think about how it started, it was a small thing I used to hide some song lyrics so I could get them from anywhere. It was half a secret. I was in a relationship I don't even care to describe save to say that I knew what was going to happen-short and long term. I was writing a ton and had a lot of time. I was unemployed right about then. I was estranged from a lot of people for having run away from some things. I was lonely and the house was a dirty rental. I had so little love in my life. Everything changed. Big time.

I'm actually in the scariest mental place I've ever been. I'm happy.

Traditionally April is a heavy month for me. My father died a year ago. I've tried not to dwell or spend much time on this with those around me, but it's definitely in this head. However, I got the girl. Yep, one of the things I had run away from. I got some focus back in my life about what's important. I have so much to do and so little time to be bored. The things I enjoy lately (a short inventory of blessings):

  1. The Girl. Jenny and I are alike in too many ways. We struggle sometimes with simple things. We love each other tremendously and get through it. We encourage all the things about life we love. We try to save money. We try to take care of each other. The last relationship taught me how to be polite in a certain situation, but never prepared me for the things that happen when you really care a shit load about that person. When setting yourself aside won't do because it's incomplete. You can't turn it off and you can't call it in. It's incredible. Go on-give me shit. Raise hell. Tell me I'm whipped or distant or whatever. Do it. I'm still going home happy.
  2. The job. Everyone is struggling to get along and real estate is a challenge it's not been for 20 some years, but I like this business and I love these people. If ever you're struggling, go talk to an agent and find out exactly what they are doing to continue to be in this business. It's hard to hear at times, but inspiring. I want to build some actual wealth.
  3. The web. I'm starting to look at how I can make some money on here. I'm going to sell myself. I know about integrity. I still want to write dirty, dark pop songs more than anything else in the world. Money will help me to do that.
  4. Music. Man. I'm playing better than ever, and I have so many opportunities to play just from hanging around. I'm finding avenues to do things I'm scared of and they're opening up roads to do the things I'm proud of. I'm slow writing right now. I'm full of ideas and short on time. I don't worry anymore, though. I know how this cycle spins. There'll be songs up here soon. I can feel it like a woman must feel a baby or like you feel a giant shit on deck.
  5. People. I'm getting to know new ones and re-learning some folks I thought I knew. Sometimes the cool thing is watching the circumstances of your life change and move you into a place where those around you come in focus. The down side? Some folks get fuzzy. Love for them never shrinks, but focus certainly shifts.
  6. Last-words. I'm excited to say these things. I guess it's egocentric, but it's all I have. So I'm gonna share and hope y'all wanna hear. write me back. There's a link on here and look for the next thing I gotta say.

Gender roles and relations are big in my head these days. Coming soon. I wanna bitch about being a guy. The dice are loaded.

April is new years for me. It used to be a mess. I'm taking it for my own.

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