21.5.08

One day I'll man up and link him.

There was a guy in college I didn't get along with at all. I was homesick and half alive for most of the time I was in MN and I had about four friends. Two of them were dating acquaintances and in one case I'm pretty sure I was inappropriate with the friendship. Nothing dirty or over the line or even questionable, but too much time together. She liked me. Not love or even crush, really, but I hope some genuine like. I needed that and I was kind of shitty about it.

So, this aforementioned guy couldn't really like me. The thing is, having met him for thirty seconds the year before was the reason I went to that school. I really thought he was a talented and interesting guy. I just let another friendship-no-a different self-induced need get in the way of building a relationship with the guy. That Sucks.

He keeps up with another friend (or two) who're still up there. He's an awesome designer and a damn good photographer and I keep a little tabs on him in this little zero and one universe. I think I like him. Sorry. I may even join Twitter. No, I guess not.

Slice it how you like. I'll be better in the next life. I'm going to try to notice what's actually happening outside of me and the stupid things I think I need.

M, you're doing great. Not that you'd find this and H, you were on that list. Why am I suddenly getting private here?

While I'm at that - D., I'm thinking of you, too. I'm sorry for your loss. As long as the codes go on, M&N - Happy Anniversary. I hope to reconcile sometime soon. I miss you. Please understand this absence and know it's not aimed at you - I don't see anyone who isn't paying me most of the time, save Jen. I need the money for a lot of things.

Shit this is depressing me. It's not even 8. None of these people will even find this.

Shower. Pack a pipe. Take a shot. Fill the thermos. Get to work.

Over and Out.

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