26.1.09

You may not have the patience to get throught this. That's a dare.

I'm dying of coughing and a little scattered as it is. This is likely to be a mess, it usually is when I don't get to this writing thing on a regular enough basis. There's back up at the valve and nothing flows right or it all comes out too quick.

In the interest of cohesion, here's the bullet points:

1. I have incredible pen pals.
2. I'm not going to tell 25 random things about me.
3. I'm not very patient, but I am prolific.

1. I have incredible pen pals: I'm out of touch with a few, but I seem to find some of the more amazing people to correspond with. They're wise and creative and somehow very grounding. I want to share a few and I think you should try to start up some sort of impersonal friendship with them, but I hope they won't have you because I want to be special. Here's 4 people you should know by the work they do, and - if they let you - by the light they shine.

Mary. I've been way out of touch with her. I found her as a blogger and a poet, but got to know her as a photographer. Sorry Mary. Either way, she's let me verbally expand and collapse more times than a lifetime should hold. My sense of drama is fully mature.

Dani. I know Dani. In the flesh. Not biblically, if that sounded forward in any way. She dated someone I thought I knew. I was dumb, young, and careless with the things I have that I think might be worth something. But this is a selfless post and those were selfish words. Dani gave me a book once, a long time ago, the Hopi might (or might not) say to a different guy. I wish it had worked, Dani. I am knocked out by how brave you've been and where that's taken you.

Erin. Erin is someone I've known in person as well, but someone who I've kinda followed since by google and article. Very recently we're back in contact with some words actually pointed at each other and I can follow her online and in pictures. I really don't want to share her, but I really ought to. Thanks for strength, Erin.

Katie. Most recently I got to trade some thoughts with Katie after having half met her a a work thingy. She's a writer like I always wanted to be. She's a lot I wish I'd been, and really kind to boot. It's funny, but the thing I can say remember me with is that when she met me I cried for an entire day. I cry all the time. If you know me you know that I cry at the drop of a hat and, while it shames me, it defines me.

I'm blessed. By Nat and Matt and RD and Chris and Justin and Greg and Jay and (especially) Jenny. These are the folks I spend a lot of my days with. Them and so many more, I sometimes want to really succeed just so I can tell the world about them from a higher vantage point. I have them and the folks I hardly know who still paint me into who I am. I ask all of you for that thing I continually think is one of the hardest things to ask of a person - to leave me alone a lot. Thanks; thanks thanks thanks thanks. I love y'all and and hope that I can make some place for y'all to grow and shine.

2. I'm not going to tell 25 random things about me. Facebook is cool, but weird. I keep getting tagged to pass on 25 random things about me. I'm too cranky for memes. Y'all should know that. I'm not gonna play. Listen to what I write. Dig through these blogs. I've got enough bitchiness and despair for everyone. I say plenty.

There's been a lot of talk about a grade school reunion on Facebook. That's cool and all, but it has to be informal. I'm not willing to spend a ton of money and travel. And it's not that I don't want to see you, I'm just not sure....I guess I've learned apprehension. Sure, let's all get a beer. What have you. Just...I don't know. I hate rituals and this smells like one.

3. I'm not very patient, but I am prolific. I've started another one. Not exactly a blog, but in my hopes something that tells more through what I find interesting. It's borne out of a desire for a directory since I got a new phone with a browser and I want to be able to get to the things I'm interested in and working on quickly. It's an easy bookmark for me and it's still incubal. Some time and patience may bear it to be something of merit, but I know the track record, so odds are against that.

Ok, I've bent the ears and eyes long enough. I'm certain I lost most of you a long time ago. Without further ado...

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