Life as pendulum.

I'm thinking about physical things today.

And that's cool because for the last week all I've thought about are physical things - but these things as ideas but only then about their reference to dichotomies and pairings and duality.

The conventional wisdom seems to always revolve around these things as if they naturally follow some natural arc toward perfection. There's the archetype of the yin and yang. It's as if everything moves toward some sort of balance or homeostasis.

I think that's a load of utter shit.

Take it from a diabetic - if one system fails, human homeostasis becomes kinda obsolete. And systems fail. In life and as an organism. In life you don't really see a balance - at least not a sustainable one. In life one thing comes along and dominates and you adjust and things swing the other way until that compensation becomes pathological and you swing back.

However, I said that I'm thinking about physical things today - not so much an idea and a concept swinging wildly like a plumb bob until gravity makes it stand stock still and dead. (Death, man, there's a balance.)

I'm thinking about the corporal world and all of those things that we make or that we use. I'm smoking a cigarette; when it's gone there may be another, but there won't be that one again.

I'm suddenly interested in making a single thing for a single person. The idea of something that that exists as a single thing and if it's cared for it lives and if it's exhausted, well, it's gone.

And I'm thinking about ownership versus having something always available. My generation wants to own stuff. If there's a CD I want I'll buy it or steal it, but it's mine. From there the commodity is further cheapened when I burn it for a friend. Even more, there's the internet and the idea that you can play a song anytime you want and there's no real reason to even own it.

And there's the print of the John Singer Sargent. There's the miniature reproduction of Daumier's Senatorial busts.

So I want - some way that does not exist - to make a single thing for a single caretaker. To place it's mortality in those kind hands. To have that thing, that song live in that one place, perhaps to be visited, but only owned as a gift and as a singular totem.

I just don't know if my vanity or our collective appetites can make that possible.

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